Scorched Earth: 302 Stupid Slogans served suavely. Scorched Earth: 302 Stupid Slogans served suavely. Scorched Earth: 302 Stupid Slogans served suavely. Fill in the blank, you ______ ! This .TLK file's almost as big as my... Never mind. What has six holes and goes Ouch repeatedly? You can't hold out forever! What, me worry? Victory! You're going down! Open wide! Blood! Pain! Violence! I shall smash your ugly tank! I wonder what this button does? Don't take this personally. Would this make you mad? I told you to leave my sister alone! I told you to leave Carl's sister alone! I could spare you, but why? My bomb is bigger than yours. I've broken bigger men than you! ... but so's your mom. Resistance is futile. I shall flatten you! It's a great day for Scorched Earth! Oooo, I'm really scared now! I heard that! Oh, please. I'm the best. Face it. Move, you're in my way! Damn, I'm good. I can never resist an easy target! That wasn't too original. I feel a nuke coming on... I feel a sandhog coming on... I feel a Lazy Boy coming on... I feel a leapfrog coming on... Is that a tampon I see? Oh, it's you. Catch! Hey, catfood! Look behind you! You'll scrunch until I'm satisfied. Lower your shields, prepare to be scorched! To the battle! Yes! Right here! Say, Citizen, what has six holes and goes Ouch? Bleeding all over the ground is treason. Die, Commie Mutant Traitor! Serve The Computer... as soup! Hold still, There's a traitor under you. No, I insist, have one on me! This screen ain't big enough for the both of us. Say "Arrgghhhhh...." I shall oil my turret with your blood. I sure enjoyed that! And the shooting too! Remember that incident with the applesauce? Well... By the way, your mom says hi. Eat SHIT and die! Spread 'em, baby! I'll kick your little ass to Arkansas! Blow THIS out your fucking hole! Take this you fuck nut! I don't have to take this from you, but I like it! Back where you came from! -- I know an easy target when I see one! Live SHORT and DON'T prosper. C'mon, Twit Boy! Here, kitty kitty... My cat shoots better than you! I'll fuck you up! I'll kick your ass! You can kiss my ass! Eat my balls! Blow me, baby! That felt so good, I'll do it again! Blow it out your fat ass! I'll blow your mind, for starters! Eat this, Toots! Target practice! Load the napalm. Surrender or die! Cue the maniacal laughter! Die, Commie Scum! This is your brain on Scorch. Scrap metal, anyone? Sorry, your answer must be in the form of a question. Your Lucky Hamster won't save you now! There's something rotten here, well I mean besides this banana. Now what would your drill sergeant say? I will now demonstrate ballistic tracking. Smile, you're in candid gunsight! Back where you came from, catfood! Have you anything to contribute to the discussion? Didn't he say that last time? The force WAS! with you your mom is on my lap Your mom's first on MY target list! suck this That's it, time for the real toys! Your mom does cartwheels on doorknobs. Bucko. Buh-bye, loser. Oh yeah, well look at MY gun! I'll show YOU a big one. Craw wurm? I don't need no STEENKING craw wurm! down with minimalism Tap THIS! Any more wise-ass remarks? That's old, very old. I like it! okay, who wants to play now? I'll show YOU big battalions! tank THIS I'm feeling inspired. So shut up! What was that about my mother? Die damn you, die! Keeps going and going..... Hold this for me, OK? Peace through superior firepower! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA In the name of fluffy bunny rabbits... Hey, didn't you go out with my sister once? Oh, THAT was real original. Knights: NI NI NI NI NI Gartog demands a sacrifice! Consider yourself lapped. A H H H H H H H H H H H H H I shall sic my kitty on you Where's that 5 bucks you owe me? Suck Napalm! I shall violate you and sacrifice you to my false gods! Die fluffer, Die!!!! Party's over. I shall get the goats. ( this quote for rent ) Two guys walk into an Akbar. Akbar smaaaash! No, really, nobody open the loganberry! You can't hide forever! Ah, who bothers to aim anyway? Napalm! Napalm! Akbar break tank! Akbar vanquish enemy! Akbar order tuna! Er, I mean Akbar SMAAASH! Nice gun, but... Akbar smash small vehicle! Carl ate my poptarts YOU PAY FOR THEM Okay, now we can have some fun! Your ass is mine! But you'll have to catch me first! Hmm, what's on YOUR minds?? Suck spatula! Well, I'VE got the DEATH star! Give up now, I'm CRUSHIN' ya! Gartog for President! Flawless Victory Harnessing the Power of the Flarg C'mon, folks, become ONE with my AMMO! Crunchy Targeting System 9999999999 bottles of beer on the wall There must be COSMIC FORCES at work here! Because this AMMO is worth more than your ENTIRE LIFE! I'm really pissed off now What do you people think this is, BADMITON??? Y'know, I really MUST meet this Akbar guy... YODA IS GOD Oh, aren't YOU a big stud muffin... Whaaat?? Time to whip out the HEAVY guns! I don't NEED to bluff. Bring out the mimes! From the makers of FruitCake (tm) comes... Ye're all hopeless. What, more target practice!? The force is with this Death's Head Face it, I'll kick your butt! At close range! Good thing I don't have to punt this nuke. Sorry, can't resist. You wanna step outside and say that? A funny thing happened to me on the way to the 286... Ha ha, mere mortals Has anyone seen my pants? rub my bald head for luck. Get the darts away from Carl!!! Matt was here. I told you I'd shoot, but you didn't believe me! One at a time, please. I wanna put my balls in it! Ya know, these quotes are a little out of hand. Hasta la vista, Kitty. No more funny lines for you! (yawn) Originality sucks! Hey, Poppin' Fresh! Put this in your oven! Oh, what the hell. Let's nuke it! I have a duck, and I know how to use it!! Akbar was here! I had a clever line, but it's in my other pants. You kids shouldn't be playing with sharp objects! Think again! I'll show YOU torment! Hey, watch where you're pointing that! Roasted, toasted, and burned to a crisp! I'd like to order a large chaos, to go please... Deploy the mimes! C'mon, girls, there's plenty of me to go around! Focus... Focus... Is that a MIRV in your pants? So many targets, so little time... Cleanup on aisle 7! There's an Akbar spill! Churn the butter! Hmm, I'll churn your butter anytime! Strain the pasta! Quel dommage, il y a 2 jeunes filles dans la cuisine! Newsflash: YOU ALL SUCK! (in a bad way) Wake up and smell the napalm! Oh no, this thing's Beta! Meet thy Doom! (tm) Donate your body to MIRV! Napalmed, not stirred. Time to take out the trash! One moment, I'm garbage collecting. The All-Paras Relay Team was here. Don't let the missile hit you on the way out! Hey, quiet in the cheap seats! Who else is up for a barbecue? About time you left, isn't it? Go chase a squirrel or something. Fire now, fix later. Akbar remove opponents' testes with spork! C'mon, kitty, catch the deathsHead! I have spare ammo, and it's ALL for you! Scorch, a veritable cornocopia of... death, I guess. Now turn your head and choke. Stop focusing the power of my Schwartz! Here's 15 dollars in PENNIES! NO CANOODILING! Carl, get away from Jackie with that catnip! Is that a pipe bomb in your pants, or... Commence lapping! This is for not running your cool down! Carl stop singing!!!!!!!!!! Really, CARL STOP SINGING! Kiss my axe fluff-lover. Suck SPAM Fudd boy! Carl, take the doughnut out of your mouth BEFORE you talk! Send in the rabid Jedi! The force is with me and not you. Na, Na....... Ok, now EVERYONE stop singing! Isn't there a ban against Carl buying Death's Heads? No!, Not Moxie! Oh no! It's the Carl clones! Spam!!!!!!! Don't tell me the odds! Shut him up or shut him down! Daaa! He didn't die!! When in doubt, fire a nuke! If only real life was like Scorch! If Carl sings, I bop him! Will Akbar please report to the Customer Assistance Desk... What, you expected something rational? Kiss my wookie! Drown in napalm, cheese god! When a problem comes along... you must whippit! Napalm happens. Deal with it. You die now Why do these quotes always end with exclaimation points!? Akbar nuke small, pitiful Scorch player. Smile! Akbar loves you! :-) Hey, you just nuked the Goodyear Blimp! PgDn! Why I'll show you "PgDn!" Have you nuked someone today? Honk if you love Akbar! No soup for you. Oh, Jumanji! Honey, this is neither the time nor the place... Et tu, Gartog? Ode to Flarg... By Jared Lee... I'm hungry. Can you beat 3 tens and 2 aces? When I blow up, I wanna be like you! You do NOT have a sledgehammer! Call in the friendly fire! You have the right to remain violent... Not on my shift! Who needs diplomacy anyway? What's a broken treaty between friends? All this standing around waiting to explode something... Dave, leave Kara alone! People get on my nerves, they get hurt! All the pop is gone! Dave, she's trying to beat you! Allow me to power up my, er, lungs. Oooh, we can COUNT too! Cold shower time! Is that cold water in your pants, or... It's too quiet in here. I hate peppers. Boy, the price of hot napalm's sure gone up... Nice nail polish. Bounce off this! When the going gets tough, the tough get Napalm Joe's meat pit... Get your own .TLK file! Trace THIS! Hmm, your fire's a little TOO friendly! What's a little napalm between friends? Marshmallows, anyone? So, filed any INCOME TAX lately?? No more Mozart for you! CHARGE!! (Good thing I have my SUpercard!) You can actually sing like that? Get a little closer! Okay, enough subtlety. Tanks... for the enemies... Why can't we shoot RPGs, again? And what's THAT supposed to mean? Hey, I'M not the one with the pipe bomb here... What's your hand doing on my gun? Duh! Ah, a textbook example. Well said. Now explode, would you? Come over here, baby, we'll have a BLAST! I don't need jello(tm) to have a good time! Scorch Diplomacy: just carry a big stick. Hey, that really IS your hand in my pants! Now free with every quote: A funny memory! One round you'll look back at this and laugh... Nice echo in here... Is Plasma Blast your answer to EVERYTHING, dear? An excellent choice, sir. Will that be with white or RED? Now where was I? What, you didn't expect me to win? No more Mozart for you! CHARGE!! (Good thing I have my SUpercard!) You can actually sing like that? Get a little closer! Okay, enough subtlety. Okay, Francyne, Let's go watch him DIE! Is that a Freudian slip you're wearing? Blow, you Freudian slop! Er, blow UP! My, aren't we naughty tonight! I told you to save the funky bombs for later, dear! Wrong joystick, pal! Wow! What a heavy bag you have! And for my next trick... And for my next trick, I shall do my Dracula impression! Didn't I see you in Cheap Shots? Easy shots, chapter one... On a scale of 1 to annoying...