Scorched Earth: 203 Stupid Obituaries overly said, and counting. Scorched Earth: 203 Stupid Obituaries overly said, and counting. Scorched Earth: 203 Stupid Obituaries overly said, and counting. This .DIE file's almost as big as my... Never mind. With this .DIE file, suicide's hilarious! Aww, Mom, not napalm AGAIN! But I was KIDDING about your mom. I meant your sister! Twit. The fat lady sang. Why does everything happen to me? And the survey says... Boom! I tried and tried, but now I've died! Did I just hear a quack? Rematch! But I WANT to collect 200 dollars! Mean person. That's not what I meant by "Duck!" Never did like Napalm... Damn. To hell with you and your mother too. Why's everyone laughing at me? And I knew I was Scorched... I let you hit me! That's overkill And I was doing so well! 'Bang', you say? Potato pancakes! Splat. Squish. Bye bye! That wasn't very original. Well, same to you! Hey, settle down in there! But I have a bulldozer and three little tanks at home! This isn't in the script! oops If you guys are gonna be like that, I'll just leave. Enterprise! Beam me out! I feel a fart coming on... What kinda way is this to treat a guest? Hello, 911? Remember the Alamo! Crapola. You think you're funny, don't you? What's a flashing red banana mean? This REALLY bites. Go back to the pile of shit you evolved from! Well, who asked you anyway? Hey, how'd that duck get in here? A curse on you! You won't even notice! I'd kill you, but I want to be original! I thought MIRV stood for 'Mommy, I Really Vacuumed'! Remind me to tell the chef about her burritos. That's it, you're off the Christmas card list. Sure, laugh NOW! Well, fuck you, too! Oooh, my ovaries. Shoulda skipped that second beer. I've gotta pee... My balls are Scorched! Backstabbing asshole! Who-da fuck? Now what rhymes with Truck and starts with D... Oh, backslash! I paid up, Vito, I swear I did! Ever had one of those really bitchy days? So much for world peace. Very human. What, me no make speech? Kids, don't try this at home. So much for the Power of Positive Thinking. And the number one reason is... No shields! Ha! I died first!! That's not what you said last night! So much for the Good Luck Alarm Clock. The good news is, I'm recyclable. Tank Not Found error. (A)nnhilate (R)etreat (I)gnite (F)all We now return you to your regularly scheduled mayhem. No, wait, I've got a better idea. But I was kidding about your mother and that polar bear. PMS again? This explosion brought to you by Canard-Boum, Inc. If I wasn't dead, I'd shoot you for that! Every time I think of a solution, boom. up your mother. Buh-bye, cruel world. Best three outta five? Badmiton, anyone? I'll just pretend that didn't happen. I kicked your ass! Really I did! Say, who DID bring Dave's cat in here? Carl just ate my last cup of sugar Whose duck is this? Tank dead. (A)bhor (R)etch (I)gnite I'll show YOU a messy death! Has anyone seen my pants? --quack-- Can we start over? I've been flargged! BAAAAD kitty! But I wanna wwwwiiinnn! Stewed. "So shoot me!", I said... Well, THIS is no good! Admit it. I kicked your butts and you couldn't take it. Er... I surrender? :-( Quack you. Quack you all. Now when you say "Sacrificed to Gartog"... Darn it all to Flarg. But the salesman said "inpenetrable!" When they say Nuke, they're not kidding! All fun and games until someone loses an eye. If you don't SHUT UP, I'll just LEAVE!! Blue light special on warheads? I'm there! I don't need Scorch to have a good time! I hope a Star Destroyer falls on you! Before I die, you will be heckled. Uhhhhh, this wound doesn't look good. Tastes like chicken Hey, my phlegm feels looser now! anybody up for a game of ping-pong? aren't you ever satisfied? Matt was here. Hole in one! Je suis un Tim Hortons, eh! Hey, didn't I see you on Carl's hard drive? Hey, this isn't chocolate! Where the hell is my hat? nuthin' a little hot glue won't fix... Ya know, these quotes are a little out of hand. May you in your next life be a Mac garbage can Toast. Oh, Scherbarth. Sugar rush! Sugar rush! You'll get 3 to 5 weasel years for this! Death to death! Vive la mort! Akbar not ask for this duck. Take it back! Somebody please hit CTRL+Alt+DEL! But I thought of a good line! Akbar die. Gee, honey, we never talk. Clamsucker! Is this thing on? (Matt was here again) I was a human being once, but then I joined track! So... Japan's economy.... So... How 'bout them Mets! So... is there something in my teeth? Well, that just blows donuts! PMS again? Je regrette, mais... One akbar too many. Here lies Akbar. Rest in pieces. Will somebody get my spatula? But I'm loaded with great features! Akbar self-destruct. These jokes are just killing me! These jokes are really punning thin! Ha! You forgot to say "Simon Says!" Alright, I WILL go chase a squirrel! Mental note: NEED MORE SHIELDING! When, you hear that, dull, squishy sound, it's over! I want my MOXIE!! Has anyone seen my creative genius? Boy, you really filled my cup that time! Has anyone seen my other personality? Oh, sure, NOW you can aim! I'll find your weakness! Cool, the big red button works! Toto, we're not in Getzville anymore! Who invited you, anyway? I love these shields! too many PopTarts (tm) The round's not over if there's still dirt left. Now would be a very good time to Mass Kill. I know where you live and I've seen where you sleep! You're goin' out with me Paging A. Doctor... A. Doctor please report to the blast zone... Hello, Big Bob's Caskets in an Hour? Hello, County Morgue? The old bucket-of-napalm-over-the-door trick. I needed a vacation anyway They said they would send backup! Now I really HAVE a head like a hole! Okay, I fell MUCH better now! That one had moxie! (tm) I'm calm! Damn it, I'm calm!!!!!!!!!111!!11!11!! I meant Napalm the COMPUTER, darn it! Risk(tm), anyone? I was hoping Kara would sit there... Hit me there all you want, it's asleep. No manners. No manners whatsoever. These people keep hitting me. All the pop is gone! I burp like a seal! That was neat. Did someone throw a pepper at me? That's my girl. Aaah, my stomach is a washboard! If only I'd bounced off the ceiling... Call in the Akbar Response Team! Will the tank parked in the handicapped... Good napalm is so hard to find. But my benefits double with foul play! Would you like fries with that? Papercut! Aahh, don't put gum in your pocket!! Aaah, down to my last MIRV! And strike again-- Well, my voice went up an octave! That was well worth the money I wasted. Aaugh, how old is this coffee? Time to reload. Whaddaya mean, Shareware Version??? Backfired. I won't stand for this! Did I win the door prize? So... Blown any donuts lately? But I need to stretch first! Oh, so THAT'S where your wallet is! Shucks, left my Undo Button(tm) in my other pants! Is that your finger on my trigger, or... But I have to go to Studio now!! Fluff you, Fudd Boy!!!! Can I check my email now? Oh damn! Another Fire Drill! When I said "Scorch, my ass!", I didn't mean-- Wait, my shift ends in 3 minutes anyway! What's IN this coffee?! Man, you have abs to DIE for!